Q. My husband and I are both in our mid-70S. He has many ailments, is almost deaf, just had a hip replacement, is losing his memory, and recently had heart surgery. We have not had sex in months. I’m unable to contain myself any longer. I feel trapped. There is a sweet man at church who has offered to help me through this difficult time. Would a casual sexual relationship with this man really be wrong if neither one of us hurt anyone else?
Wow. What a situation. First of all let me say that I know one of the most difficult things we may ever face is watching the physical and mental deterioration of a loved one. It will try your patience and convictions. Most people in your situation become tired and need assistance at some point. I would suggest that you ask someone at church for help. Ask the elders where you attend to help you find assistance. There may be a Hospice program where you live, or you could call your local Health and Human Resources office for a list of volunteers in your area. Ask for help. There are people in your community who want to help. I am troubled by your statement that “I’m unable to contain myself any longer.” Do you remember that when you were married you took a vow…. “for better, or worse, in sickness and in health……till death do us part…” ??? Do you remember that vow??? The sweet little man at church wants you to commit fornication with him! I would neither refer to him as “sweet” or a “man.” Sweet MEN HELP those in need…… they do not take advantage of them.
Here is what the Scriptures Say:
1 Thess. 4:3-8
3* For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4* that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5* not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6* and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. 7* For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. 8* So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
The apostle Paul says that we are to possess our own vessel in sanctification and honor. Sanctification is the process by which we who are set apart for God’s purposes grow in likeness of Christ in thought and word and deed as we are influenced by the Word of God. It is impossible to imagine that a person who is walking in Sanctification would ever engage in an extramarital affair and attempt to justify it because of the circumstances at home.
There is no such thing as a “casual sexual relationship.” The clear teaching of the New Testament is that sexuality is expressed and ordained of God ONLY within a God-blessed relationship. You may FEEL that you cannot contain yourself, but the Bible is clear that you MUST control yourself.
The question becomes Do I Want to do what God wants me to do??? Or will I follow my lusts?
24* Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. 25* “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. 26* “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? 27* “For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS.